Should relationships be reciprocal?

Have you ever had a one-sided relationship with someone? Have you ever wondered what your role with another person was? Sometimes having the friend that only speaks about themselves, their interests, or what is important leaves you to feeling drained. What do you do? What do you give up to be involved with such a person?

Friendships, as well as romantic relationships are all about being there for another person. Sometimes they are there for you, sometimes you are their support system. What do you do when you realize that you are the one giving, and they are the one taking all of the time? It takes so much away from any person to constantly give. Now you have some options.

You can continue to be a giving person, and continue to stay in the role that you are in. While it may be the easiest, it may not be best choice for you. We all have breaking points, and it is difficult to allow someone to push you to that limit all of the time. If you have a point of stress in your life you can't fix, or you can't eliminate it may eventually drag you down.

Another choice is to confront the person. You can do it in a nice, and loving way. Telling this person what you are sensing may make a change in their actions. You can do this in a humorous way, a serious way, or an unemotional way. You are doing yourself a huge favor by letting that person know, continuing the relationship is difficult for you. By telling someone how you feel, puts the problem back on the other person. So the next time they call, or stop by for a chat, you can end the coversation without the guilt if and when they start their one-sided conversation.

Your next option if great if you don't want the confrontation. Start to scale back on your time involved with the other person. Simply cut phone conversations short, being busy when they need you. You can be less responsive when they talk, most people will get the hing.

One thing I have noticed is that you have to make an active choice when dealing with these people when they become emotional leeches. You need to be true to yourself. If you need to find another friend, while not easy, it is something you should do. If the person just let the friendship/relationship get out of balance, and they are a good person, they will put the relationship right.

How to be involved with a narcissist

I get asked this alot. How to you be in a relationship with a narcissist at best is difficult. My honestly advice, is to stop. End that relationship, end it as soon as possible. I can't emphasize that no one needs to be in a relationship with a narcissist. Narcissists by nature aren't capable of normal relationships. Do not full yourself into thinking that you can do anything to make the relationship worthwhile, or have any qualities that a relationship with any normal person.

It is a difficult realization that this person you are involved with, isn't a full person. This person at best only projects what they want you to see. They will project that as long as you give them your attention, and they do not feel threatened by the close relationship. Keep in mind, like any great movie with a long run, eventually that movie will stop playing. When it does, your time is up. Do not think for an instant that there is anything you can do, think, feel, or say that will change your run with this person. When they decide its over, end it, and don't look back. If you continue to engage in the relationship, they will only toy with you for entertainment. Stop, and get off that ride, its heart breaking.

Chances are this person will be a completely different person in a relationship with the next person. He will change and morph into what he thinks will get him the best result. You have to realize any relationship that comes on as strong as this as this one did, should be a warning sign. This should be a warning sign that screams out as much as one ever could. Does this person act like everything you ever wanted? Run. A narcissist will morph and change into what he thinks you want. You will be lied and manipulated by someone who has had a lifetime of experience at it. Most people are fooled by this for awhile, don't feel bad if you missed the signs that this person was someone you should have ran from.

If you not married to this person, if you have no children, and no other attachments with this person. Drop them like a hot rock. Eventually they will turn on you. They will attempt to destroy you and play you like you have never been played before. Keep in mind lying to you, manipulating your schedule, finances, and anything else for that matter means nothing to them. The narcissist, simply does not understand or have the capability to understand that other people are real people too.

If this is not the circumstance, and you are tied to this person, by legal matters, I will address what can help in another posting. Truly, if you can, get out this relationship as fast as possible. Run, simply run. You will have to untangle yourself from this relationship. It won't be easy, it will be difficult, just as ending any other relationship. You will heal from this relationship, it will be more difficult than other relationships, you will be better off ending it as soon as possible.